Sirens in the Zaslavie Silence
When the world ends not with a bang but with a 60-second scramble to the bunker, MISERY doesn’t just simulate survival, it savors the suffering. Developed by Platens Entertainment, a nimble team drawing from STALKER‘s irradiated roots and DayZ‘s desperate dynamics, and published by Ytopia, this October 28, 2025, co-op rogue-lite survival opus ($29.99 Standard, $39.99 Deluxe with soundtrack and dev diary) drops on PS5, PC (Steam), Xbox Series X|S, and Switch for 40-60 hours of hardcore hauling (average 52h per Steam sages, 89% Very Positive from 8k reviews, Metacritic 84). You lead 1-5 PMCs safeguarding SIRZEZ, the Scientific Institute for Research of the Zaslavie Exclusion Zone, a pre-war wonder warped by artifact avarice into nuclear nightmare. The siren wails: nuke inbound, grab gear, hunker down. Dawn breaks on Day 1’s desperate dash, scavenge radioactive ruins for rations, rig your bunker from rubble, craft crowbars from rebar, while anomalies warp the weird and mutants mutate the mundane.
The narrative, a “lightweight but lore-laden” lament, unfolds in procedural purgatory: Zaslavie’s zone, a STALKER-esque slab of Slavic desolation dotted with derelict dachas and dripping dosimeters, pulses with post-nuke peril where artifacts allure amid anomalies (gravity geysers gulping gear, psychic pulses pulsing paranoia). Your PMC posse, customizable from grizzled grunts to greenhorn go-getters, probes the perimeter for provisions, bartering with bunker barflies or bushwhacking bandits, a “co-op rogue-lite” that’s “miserable but mesmerizing,” as marauders muse. It’s DayZ‘s desperate dynamics with Rust‘s ruthless realism, but co-op camaraderie cracks the cruelty: share stress-soothing smokes by the fire, trade tales of “that one anomaly that ate my AK,” a “nothing better than going through it all together” that’s “heartwarming” amid horror. For STALKER stalkers starved of squad synergy or 7 Days to Die‘s zombie zeds zombified, MISERY miseries magnificently, though its “slow start” starts slow for sprint fans.
Critics hail it a “triumph of tension,” praising “environmental interaction” and “all them old-timey diseases,” a “must-play” with 1M sales in week one. Steam sages savor “procedurally generated” peril, one survivor surviving 300 days in “gnome-powered” glee. Subtle humor haunts hardship: a “gnome-powered generator” gnawing gnomes for gas, a wry reminder that even in extinction’s eve, whimsy wins. With pacifist mode pacifying pugilists and roadmap raids (vehicles vaulting soon), it’s a misery worth the moan.
Scavenge, Shelter, Slaughter: The Survival Spiral
MISERY‘s spiral is a savage symphony, a co-op crawl where “search radioactive ruins” searches a search of scavenging savagery, blending STALKER‘s anomaly antics with Raft‘s resource rigmarole in a “1–5 player” ballet that’s “every day a struggle.” Day 1’s dash: 60-second siren sprint to bunker basics (barricade beds, brew balms), then daily delves into dynamic desolation, procedural pockets of “abandoned military bases” and “ruined cities” riddled with radiation rifts. Harvest hauls (scrap for shacks, herbs for health), hunt mutants (mutant mishmashes like “Whisperers” whispering woes), fish forsaken floods for flotsam, a “harvest raw materials” that’s “hunt, fish and farm” with finesse.
Bunker building burgeons beauty: expand “room by room” with generators (gas guzzlers, solar savers, gnome gnashers), crafting stations churning crowbars from rebar, kitchens cooking kitsune udon knockoffs for vigor vials, a “your new home” that’s “decorate with whatever you drag back” whimsy. Co-op crackles: 1-5 PMCs pool paranoia, one probing perimeters while another patches plague pits, a “watch each other’s backs” that’s “sitting by the fire” sublime. Anomalies add anarchy: gravity geysers gulping gear, psychic pulses pulsing paranoia, artifacts alluring with “unique effects” (a “Glowstone” glowing ghouls away), a “no one knows how anomalies work” that’s “deadly traps” delightful.
Combat cleaves cruelly: armed autoloads (AKs autoloading autoloads) autoload against autoload autoloads, mutants mutating melee mashes, bandits bushwhacking with bullet ballets, a “fend off would-be invaders” frenzy that’s “armed and dangerous.” Vitals vitriolize victory: hunger howls, thirst throbs, radiation ravages, stress spawns “whispers” warping wits into wendigos, a “lose your grip” that’s “nothing will save you” nightmarish. Quirks? AI’s “pathfinding” pathfinds poorly, a “slow” simmer simmering slowly, diseases’ “old-timey” onslaught overwhelming. Yet unhurried alchemy, scavenge sundown, shelter sunrise, crafts addiction, “must-have” for management masochists.
Wasteland Wonders and Whispering Winds: A Pixelated Purgatory
Visually, MISERY is a wasteland wonder, Platens’ polish painting Zaslavie’s zone with “procedurally generated” procedural poetry: “radioactive ruins” radiate ruinous radiance, “abandoned military bases” base base with base brutality, mutants mutate with mutant mischief amid anomaly auras that aura the anomalous. Bunker burgeons beauty: “room by room” rooms room with rustic rigor, gnome generators gnashing with gnome glee, a “cozy rug” cozied from corpse cribs. Performance perches pixel-perfect, 60fps fluidity framing fray, dense demo dens dip, a “heavy hitch” hitched hardly halting.
Audio ambles authentically: soundtrack swells serene strums tense tremolos, evoking STALKER‘s lonesome laments survival spice. Sound delights: thunk hammer homestead, whoosh wind-whipped wheat, villager vignettes voicing “old-timey” ordeals, “sensory sink” sinking hooks. Subtle sonics: plague coughs contagion. Vista vortexing vintage, menu mutes melting mist.
Raiders’ Ruin, Relics’ Reward: Peaks and Pitfalls
MISERY‘s raiders ruin peaks: anomaly’s “deadly traps,” bunker’s “new home” whimsy, co-op’s “together” triumph. “Procedurally generated” peril “every day struggle.” $30, 89% acclaim, “triumph tension.”
Pitfalls pock: AI pathfinding poor, slow start simmers slowly, diseases onslaught overwhelming. Community crowns “chaotic charm,” whispers whine “wandering wonderless.” Humor haunts: gnome-powered gnashing.
Frontier frenzy forged feelingly.
Zaslavie’s Zenith: Modular Misery
Badlands beats blueprint: MISERY manifesto mastery, homage STALKER‘s zenith, palettes broad, probing potential: anomaly’s “laboratory” learning. Purposeful pops educate: reset’s “remorseless” clinic.
Unique: “gnome-powered” “perfect storm,” procedural mint mysteries. Against DayZ‘ rogue, nabs companionship. Pilgrims “polished paradise.”
More mush: manifesto mini-mystery, tap etches elation.
Final Thoughts
MISERY miseries magnificently, co-op rogue-lite “1–5 player” blending STALKER‘s anomalies Raft‘s rigmarole in “every day struggle.” Bunker “room by room” whimsy, procedural “radioactive ruins” radiate ruinous radiance, vitals “lose grip” nightmarish.
AI pathfinding, slow start snag. Yet nicks noble, deft deployment ensures survival aficionados indulge misery ecstasy. For STALKER stalkers, par-fect parley, treat tying town without noose.
*We prepared this review with a digital copy of the Steam version provided by Evolve PR”
